Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Happy birthday to myself


I’m not sure where 33 went, or 34 or 35. But today I turn 36 and it probably shows.

I’ve got gray hair underneath the Clairol medium brown. Wrinkles settle against my eyes.  And it was now 20 years since I was sweet 16. Twenty years.

Who knew back then this would be where I am now?  Who knew I’d be learning how to be a wife to a jungle pilot in Indonesia, be a mom on four hours of sleep a night, make a home on a remote island, and be a friend to people who don’t speak my language?

Who knew that I’d never have gone to Disney World, but have climbed a volcano in Bali? I’ve never owned a home, but I share one with wild geckos. don’t belong anywhere in the States anymore, but I’ve got a passport—actually two passports—stamped full of notes of my journey.

Who knew I’d still feel young and unsure and when I’m in a big city in America? But I feel old and wise and at home when I’m hanging with Indonesian orphans.

Who knew I'd have fallen in love, learn how to be loved, and experience it again and again every day, constantly surprised by its depth?

Who knew this doubter would have a faith that grows deeper in the hard things?

Who knew many of my dreams have not yet come true, but have others that do every day?

I still don’t know how this whole thing has happened. This getting older. This mom and wife and adult thing. This making life in Indonesia. This becoming both somebody and nobody. 

But I do know that I’ve messed up, hurt people, have regrets, been wounded. I know I've seen big things happen and been granted forgiveness and made many right choices and have been healed.

I know I’ve said many, many goodbyes, endured much loss, cried for things I won’t ever have. I know I've been loved by friends all over the world, been given much more than I deserve and have celebrated over amazing riches.

And I know I’ve got one life to spend, and many moments to invest. And sometimes the investing happens in the middle of the night, or in the beginning of much pain, or with sweat pouring down my face and my hands trembling with fear. Sometimes the investing happens in places no one will ever see, or doing things that will be gone by tomorrow, or be done for people who never say thanks. 

And many times, the investing is done in me, through others’ love and commitments, with their time and money, through their grace and forgiveness.

Who knows what tomorrow brings? Pain? Hardship? A dream come true? Another exhausting day as a mom? A painful thing said by a friend, or unfortunately by me, to a friend? Yet another wrinkle in my hesitant smile? A sickness? A gift? Another happy year of marriage? Room-filling laughter?

By God’s grace, I hope tomorrow brings life, and everything with it.

But as for today, I am 36 years old, and thank God that it shows. 

photo credit, Jordan Eadie


16 comments:

  1. BEST EFFECTIVE LOVE-SPELL TO GET YOUR EX BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND BACK FAST!!
    I’m so excited! Thanks to Dr.Unity for bringing back my Ex-husband and brought great joy to me today! Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online,if you need your Ex lover back fast!and his result is 100% guarantee..
    After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,
    you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 ,
    you can also visit his website: https://unityspelltempe.blogspot.com .

    ReplyDelete

  2. REAL LOST LOVE SPELL CASTER FOR URGENT EX LOVER RETURN! Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online, and his result is 100% guarantee..
    I'm Jessica Vargas. I feel so joyful today because of the help Doctor Unity has rendered to me for getting my Husband back. I've been married for 6 years and it has been so terrible because my husband was cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce. But when i came across Doctor Unity E-mail ( Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ) on the internet posted by a lady, i decided to get in touch with him and i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case for there is no problem without a solution. Here i am celebrating because my Husband is back home and am really enjoying my marriage and what a great celebration. I will keep on testifying on the internet because Doctor Unity is truly a helper who God has sent to help us all. Why not contact Doctor Unity now if you are facing any challenges in your relationship life. E-mail: ( Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,
    you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 ,
    you can also visit his website: https://unityspelltempe.blogspot.com .

    ReplyDelete
  3. EFFECTIVE SPELL THAT WORK FAST: CALL DR. JAKKIKI RIGHT NOW FOR URGENT LOVE SPELL +1 (402) 892-2486

    What a miracle to have my ex back,my name is Julie Terra Sarah and i need to share this great testimony... I just want to say thanks Dr Jakiki for taking time to help me cast the spell that brings back my ex lover {now my husband},who suddenly lost interest in me after six month of engagement,but today we are married and we are more happier than never before, I am really short of words and joyful, and i don't know how much to my appreciation to you doctor Jakiki you are a God sent to restore broken relationship.he deeply enjoy helping people achieve their desires, find true love,Marriage problem,getting their ex lovers back,stop abusive relationships,Stop divorce,find success,attract happiness,find soul mates and more,contact him today. and let him show you the wonders and amazement of his Love Spell System. He deliver results at his best in real spell casting,email him for help urgent help.

    via Email: ((Spellcasthome@gmail.com or Spellcasthome@yahoo.com))

    Text him or call: +1 (402) 892-2486

    ReplyDelete
  4. URGENT EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL TO GET YOUR EX BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND BACK FAST AND TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE NOW. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,Call/WhatsApp: : +2348071622464 , his website: https://urgentspell.blogspot.com .

    ReplyDelete

  5. If your man is pushing you away and acting distant

    Or if the guy you’re after isn’t giving you the time of day...

    Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

    Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing you can say to a standoffish guy that will grab him by the heartstrings-

    And get his blood pumping at just the thought of you.

    Insert subject line here and link it to: <=========> Your ex won’t be able to resist?

    Once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

    It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you-

    And even begging to be with you.

    Here’s what I’m talking about: <=========> Is your man hiding something? He may need your help?

    Thanks again.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love spell to get lost love back back/stop divorce/save broken marriage happylovespell2@gmail.com is the best on urgent love spell casting with 100% result guarantee
    Am Sai Vidhya from CA Usa my boyfriend cheated on me and asked for breakup. I don't believe at first i try to get back with him but all he told me was he’s with someone else. that he is no longer interested in marrying me at that point i was heart broken coz i love my boyfriend so much that i could not let go off him all of a sudden he left me, i really love him and never can imagine my life without him. not until i came across a powerful real spell caster Dr happy who promise me 48hours urgent love spell to get back with my boyfriend, good forty-eight {48} hours. hmm-mm, it was a good night time at 10:05pm within the days that Dr happy told me that my boyfriend will be back, at first i heard the bell rings getting close to my door i heard someone saying honey!!!, it sound familiar i opened the door and i saw my boyfriend standing and weeping in front of me. i was not surprised because its all i have been praying for him to come back home. Guess what in six days after i noticed my system and my body temperature is changed and i went to clinic for check up and the doctor told me that there is life in me which means i am pregnant i really wants to use this opportunity to thanks Dr happy so much and my lovely collage who directed me to Dr happy if you have any problem or predicament that is worse or exactly like this you have been into, i plead you to contact Dr happy on happylovespell2@gmail.com you can also view on his blogs site... https://happylovespell2.blogspot.com.ng/ whatsapp/call...+2348133873774

    ReplyDelete
  7. Get your lover back urgent effective love spell to win and get ex boyfriend back my advise reveal you all to contact Dr happy for a genuine love spell on happylovespell2@gmail.com that work fast. here is my relationship story my names are
    Melissa Deditch born in Los Angeles Usa.. my boyfriend told me it was over and walk away without any reasons, I was confuse and didn't know what to do. I was desperate, I want him back, I went over the internet looking for ways to get my boyfriend back. I read about many different ways of how to get ex back, but Dr happy caught my attention. I immediately contacted him and explained my problem to him. It was amazing and surprising that 11hrs after the urgent love spell was cast, my boyfriend called me and was begging me to forgive him and accept him back, Couldn't believe, but later after he came to my house and fell on his knees asking me to take him back am so happy that my love is back again. I am testifying on this forum just to let people know that Dr happy is real and genuine. don't hesitate to try him out. thank you Dr happy you are truly talented and gifted genuine spell caster. Contact him now if you need your girlfriend/boyfriend back or your girlfriend moved on to another man, do not cry anymore .. Dr happy is here to help out in relationship problem coz problem share is problem solve:
    Email him at.... happylovespell2@gmail.com
    whatsapp/call...+2348133873774
    review on his Blogs site... https://happylovespell2.blogspot.com.ng/

    ReplyDelete
  8. URGENT GENUINE LOVE-SPELL TO GET YOUR EX BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND OR HUSBAND/WIFE BACK FAST.
    I have something to share with you!!! There is a great joy in my heart which I want to share with everyone. My name is Jessica Jackson, from united States. I had a misunderstanding with my lover last year which led us to break up and he never wanted to hear my voice again. He saw a beautiful woman which he find more prettier than me, but as time went on I met god Dr Purity He is a great spell caster. I contacted him through his email and
    explained everything to him. He said that I shouldn't worry, that my lover will come back to me on his knees begging for forgiveness before 24 hours. My greatest joy now is that he actually came back to me and fell on
    his knees begging for forgiveness, and today we are happy and he also cured
    my Sister's breast cancer. Do you have any problem? worry no more because Dr Purity can provide lasting spell solution to any problems:email him puritylovespell@gmail.com or call him +2348070980389 or add him on whats- app +2348070980389

    (1)If you want your ex back.

    (2)You want to be promoted in your office.

    (3)If you want to be cured of HIV, Cancers and other diseases.

    (4)You want to be rich.

    (5)You want your husband/wife to be yours forever.

    (6)If you need financial assistance.

    (7)If you went to get pregnant.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Good news, love spell to save your marriage/get ex bf and return lost lover back... I'm here today to say thanks to Dr.happy for the happiness he brought to my marriage
    well!! I'm Cassie Tiffany from texas, USA...I just found out about my husband cheating on me with a co-worker! We’ve been married going on two years. 2kids. lots of amazing momments together. i want to leave, but i love him so much. all i can think about is how nothing stopped him. how he has to see her everyday because they work together. we are both still young and very attractive. but i want my husband, my friend, and the father of my beautiful children. how do i get past the thought of another woman having my husband? Not my fiancé, not my boyfriend, but my husband! i still love him even though he thinks i want to leave i really want him to do better and stop me before i walk out! my husband told me that he doesn’t feel loved anymore, just because of this co-worker he has be cheating on with me that he wants a divorce, i was devastated, heart broken i begged him to listen to me that we can work it out like we always do, but he didn’t listen, he told me that he met someone that loves and understands him, i begged him to consider our kids but he’s did listen. he left and i was frustrated, i began searching for help and answers, then i heard about a man that can Cast a spell to remind him of all the things we have been through together, at first I was scared then i decided to give it a try, and like magic my husband came back, apology and begging for forgiveness, thanks to this man, I’m posting this to help people with similar issues. You can contact him for help too. happylovespell2@gmail.com for more details Whatsapp and call...+2348133873774 You can also view on his Blogs site... https://happylovespell2.blogspot.com.ng/

    ReplyDelete
  10. Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online and his result is 100% guarantee.
    My Name Olivia Stephen form Tx,USA. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact
    Call/WhatsApp: +2348071622464 ,
    Email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,
    Website:https://unityspelltemple126848969.wordpress.com .

    ReplyDelete
  11. Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online and his result is 100% guarantee.
    My Name Olivia Stephen form Tx,USA. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact
    Call/WhatsApp: +2348071622464 ,
    Email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,
    Website:https://unityspelltemple126848969.wordpress.com .

    ReplyDelete
  12. Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online and his result is 100% guarantee.
    My Name Olivia Stephen form Tx,USA. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact
    Call/WhatsApp: +2348071622464 ,
    Email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,
    Website:https://unityspelltmple.blogspot.com .

    ReplyDelete
  13. Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online and his result is 100% guarantee.
    My Name Olivia Stephen form Tx,USA. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact
    Call/WhatsApp: +2348071622464 ,
    Email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,
    Website:https://unityspelltmple.blogspot.com .

    ReplyDelete
  14. My name is Handford Ann,i base in canada.i want to share my wonderful testimony on how i got back my ex-lover of my life back, he left me for another woman for no reason and i try to make things work for both of us yet things where getting worse and i love him so much and there is nothing i could do to get my ex back until i met a testimony share by Maria from USA on the internet talking about a powerful spell caster who brought his ex lover back within 48hours and i decide to give it a try and to my greatest surprise he also did it for me just as he did for Maria and i have a lot of people complaining of fake spell caster but this one i met was a real spell caster who help me to solve my problem i have no solution to,i introduce many of my best friends that have a similar problems,and their problem were solve with the great help of Dr.Trust. They get back their ex within 48 hours. I am so happy that my ex is back to me again,and the most surprise,is that our love is very strong,every day is happiness and joy. and there is nothing like been with the man you love.i am so happy my love is back to me with the help of Dr.Trust. If you have any problem in your relationship i will advice you to contact him now (Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com) His website for more testimony of him: http://utimatespellcast.blogspot.com Call or Text him now +1(317) 762-7416

    ReplyDelete
  15. My name is Handford Ann,i base in canada.i want to share my wonderful testimony on how i got back my ex-lover of my life back, he left me for another woman for no reason and i try to make things work for both of us yet things where getting worse and i love him so much and there is nothing i could do to get my ex back until i met a testimony share by Maria from USA on the internet talking about a powerful spell caster who brought his ex lover back within 48hours and i decide to give it a try and to my greatest surprise he also did it for me just as he did for Maria and i have a lot of people complaining of fake spell caster but this one i met was a real spell caster who help me to solve my problem i have no solution to,i introduce many of my best friends that have a similar problems,and their problem were solve with the great help of Dr.Trust. They get back their ex within 48 hours. I am so happy that my ex is back to me again,and the most surprise,is that our love is very strong,every day is happiness and joy. and there is nothing like been with the man you love.i am so happy my love is back to me with the help of Dr.Trust. If you have any problem in your relationship i will advice you to contact him now (Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com) His website for more testimony of him: http://utimatespellcast.blogspot.com Call or Text him now +1(317) 762-7416

    ReplyDelete

Blogging tips