Sometimes I live in the shadows.
The shadows of the people who seem to belong—always saying the right things. I hide behind their confidence, preferring to disappear into nods and smiles, hoping people will both ignore me and notice me.
The shadows of those I serve, allowing my good works to give me significance, disappearing into the things I do, hoping they will make me matter.
The shadows of my own children, working hard in the noble profession of motherhood, hiding behind the tasks of feeding them and cleaning them and loving them. I crouch behind this mom in me who allows me to do, do, do (and often fail, fail, fail) as I shrink.
The shadows of the things I fear, the failure that seems inevitable, the worst situations that are unspeakable—an airplane crash, a snake bite, a lifeless child.
The shadows of things that aren’t true, but that shout loud in the culture, in my mind, in my heart. They insist I believe things I don’t believe, proving themselves with half-truths that dismay.
And then I step out into the light.
The light of Truth, choosing to believe that He made me on purpose, that I am who He created me to be, not who I usually think I am.
The light of Joy, serving from His abundance, knowing that I am significant because of His grace, His story, not because of how well or poorly I live it.
The light of Hope, His calling me out of others’ shadows, inviting me to be what He has made me, to show others what is real, to see past others’ nods and smiles into hiding hearts.
The light of Faith, reminding me to believe in bigger things than my fears, truer things that the lies in my head, more beautiful things that the muck from this world.
The light of Grace, a daily choice to embrace what is already mine, to share what is fully His, to believe what will someday be.
Will you join me in the light?
photo credit, Jan Tik