The pain rips through my abdomen, settling into my back.
I pause, having no other choice but to stop and breathe through
yet another contraction that goes nowhere.
I’m supposed to wait to have this baby. Brad isn’t yet here
with me in Singapore, instead, stuck in Indonesia due to a delayed visa from
the government. So, I pause, and slow down and try to get this baby to wait for
Daddy.
Her pain—my neighbor’s pain—presses into her curved back.
I pause, watching her face, Then I slowly, carefully massage
hands that can no longer open on their own, this sickness turning my
neighbor—prematurely—into an old lady.
If I move too quickly, press too hard, I am afraid she’ll break. So, I pause,
listening to her broken voice through her inner heart pain.
His pain—from my 4-year-old son’s hurt—leaks out through his
tears.
I pause, listening to his words, wondering how many times
I’ve missed moments like these in my busy mama tasks. But I don’t want to spend
these years simply getting stuff done. Instead, I want to spend the time
getting to know my kids’ hearts.
I’m not very good at the pausing. Preferring to move quickly
than to slow down. Wishing I could get more stuff done in a place filled with
endless delays. My ideas always bigger
than the nap times available to accomplish them.
But then again, sometimes the best things happen during the pauses. Hearts are heard. Prayers are whispered. Pain is soothed. Energy is restored. Thoughts are ordered. Life is relished. Love is given...and received.
So, I pause,
enjoying a short break before this baby arrives and I will have to keep moving, bouncing a
fussy baby while I make dinner, eat, do life. Soon getting less done with my days, while somehow
accomplishing the most important thing.
And even in the pausing, there’s no time to stop completely.
The other kids are calling. The concerns of ministry continue to fill my mind
and heart. Dinner still needs to be made. But in the pauses I do have, I
breathe and listen and pray and rest.
In this busy season, do you have time a moment to pause?
photo credit, VinothChandar
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